Does dyick size really matter?

I’m gonna answer this question as a mother hoe, summer slut. But bitch… my answers do not reflect that of each and every woman and all other genders that are into dyicks…. Mmmkay? They only reflect that of others who are identical hoes.  

Buttt… I will also answer this question from three angles, piledriver, helicopter, and downward dog. Chariz. No. Ang bastos ha! Don’t be like that. We don’t condone this behavior in this community. Seriously now. Three angles—physically, psychologically, and anatomically—so you further understand why some sluts—like this ho—are into monster cacks, whereas others are not.

Zow… does dyick size really matter?

I’m shutting down this persistent, ongoing back and forth debate (redundant? For emphasis, oh bakit? Yawa ka) right now and I’m gonna tell you that it depends on a woman’s preference. There is no one definite answer that can be generalized to all of us because it all boils down to preference. I can’t say it matters straight up, I also can’t say that it doesn’t matter straight up. One woman can be okay being with a man with a small dyick, and that woman may be your partner. Char. Joke. Seriously… 50 women will be okay with men with small dyicks, and 50 other women won’t be okay with men with small dyicks. That’s just it. There’s never a definite answer because each and every one of us has a particular preference. Absolutely each and every one of us has a dyick preference customized to who we are and how we think. That’s why articles and studies on this question remain inconclusive because there really isn’t a definite answer. The answer can’t be generalized, is what I’m saying again.

For instance, my dyick preference is my husband’s dyick, 7.5 inches in length and 6 inches in girth, with a bulging helmet head. An inch longer and I won’t be able to take it, I know my vajeen that much. An inch less in girth, and I won’t be happy with it because I’d always yearn for that extra inch in thickness. I would feel unfulfilled, figuratively and literally.

Meanwhile, my best friend, who’s a much bigger slut, mind you, much much bigger slut, does not prefer big dyicks because she always feels like she needs to take a shit while being dyicked down by a monster cack because she has a small vajeen. See? two same sluts… different preferences.

I’ve also proven this to be true during the COVID-19 pandemic when a friend of mine, Ruffa (not her real name, let’s just call it that coz she has big watermelon titz and is always animated) called about a mutual close girl friend we had. She said, “BAKLA! Alam mo na ano nangyare kay Eva?” We’ll name them Eva and Adan hereafter because that TikTok song is stuck in my head “Mahal mo na… mahal mo na… wala kang magagawa mahal mo na… Evat adan… e-evat… adan... eyyyyyy!” Char. Jej much?

I was like, “Oh my God! COVID! Is she okay?” I panicked because it was during the time when infections were rapidly peaking and everyone was getting it left and right. Immediately I had thought that she had COVID and was worried because there was no vaccine yet, and I hadn’t talk to Eva in a while around that time.

Wait… we need a backstory I think… so Eva was one of my closest, best friends. Ruffa, Eva, me, and Adan were all in the same circle of friends. Ruffa and Eva were both witnesses to how much I was infatuated with ADAN, who I was hooking up with on and off at the time, but I could never really entirely commit to him, and he could never entirely commit to me because he said he couldn’t take me seriously and couldn’t introduce me to his parents because of how I look and because of my “reputation.” Everybody thought of me as the village slut from California who was “wild.”

I honestly thought I was in love with this guy, but I was still hooking up with other men because what? Sluuuuut. No… but… I was still hooking up with other guys because Adan unfortunately had a small dyick—6 feet of man with a small dyick. We were never gonna work out because even though I’d love him, I would still cheat, and even though he’d love me, he’d still have a small dyick… and I’ve been down that road too many fucking times. Many of my ex-lovers had small dyicks… tallest fucking men… but with the smallest dyicks. I was over it. It was like a miniature shadow following me around. It was like they all came from a small dyick convention and united with the same goal: “Brothaz… Let’s go find a slut with daddy issues coz she’s desperate for love and wouldn’t mind our small appendage.”

But Ruffa and Eva were witnesses to how much I fucking cried and how much I was at war with myself because I really couldn’t deal with his small dyick. Bitch… Don’t even. I literally cried. I was so upset. In fact… Eva was the first girl I turned to to cry about how much I was so surprised and upset about Adan’s small dyick because I really liked this guy, you know? He was really tall… had a top position at his job… he wasn’t handsome… but he also wasn’t ugly… attractive enough… that’s it. He’s the type of guy you’d notice for his height and quiet demeanor, but loud presence because everybody else would be talking about him. You get me? The quiet type but won’t also blend into the wallpaper. I found him to be mysterious and intimidating at the same. He was like Temu Mr. Darcy in the sense that he was kind of a snob and kept to himself. He had his own car… his own properties… but never arrogant… but had drug issues—he habitually did some meth…once a week… in front of me. But he was sweet though because although he’d do drugs, he’d stop me and prevent me from doing it. He’d be like, “Wag ka na. Ayoko masira ka.” Wow… Sweet right? I know FML. Fuck off. That’s sweet to me, okay? You got flowers and gifts for romantic gestures, I got drug addicts stopping me from doing drugs for romantic gestures. I know… FML. He was also a Virgo… which means… born out of Satan’s ass and born without emotions. When Satan was making Virgos he forgot to include emotions in their character traits because in the middle of being created, they interrupted and distracted Satan and said, “Let me do it, Satan. Because you’re not doing it right.” So he naturally forgot to include emotions. Fucking hate Virgos, man. I just… ugh… I hate them. That’s why I married one because I’m a Scorpio and have a burning desire to live in hell. Chariz.

Back to my backstory… Zow… I asked what happened to Eva. Ruffa said, “HINDI! Bakla ka! Sila na ng ex mo, si ADAN!” I was like… what do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? I had to pause and take a step back not because I was hurt or betrayed or felt like she had completely disregarded the girl code, I was even happy she got with him, he’s a great provider, he has money, and she deserves to be spoiled by his money, I knew he’d take of care and she deserves to be taken care of. But I had to take a step back out of confusion. You know? I couldn’t really put two and two together.

Eva knew. Eva knew of Adan’s small dyick. She very well fucking knew. I fucking cried to her about his dyick. And Eva… I know I’m pretty, right? I know I’m hot… but Eva was waaay prettier. I’m talking model type (she used to walk runways if I can even remember), stick thin, really fair skin, absolutely no fucking pores, never lived with one single acne, never had a fucking blackhead, long straight, Pantene commercial hair that stayed where they should be, long slender legs, she could be casted as a Rivendell elf no lie—that pretty. She even has some Spanish blood in her family. Zow… just picture what she looks like. And this woman who was way prettier than me was okay with Adan’s small dyick? How can a woman who’s better and prettier than me be okay with a small dyick and I’m not? I realized then that holy shit… holy fuck… it was such a revelation because all my life I’d thought all women, absolutely each and every one of us, preferred bigger cacks. And then this gorgeous woman entirely disproved my belief. Zow dyick size doesn’t really matter? It’s me who’s the problem? I’m the problem? Because I shouldn’t have the audacity to look down on small dyicks because even prettier women don’t give a fuck. What audacity do I have not to give credit to small dyicks when prettier women are completely fine with it. This pretty woman, who could have chosen somebody else, this woman who had the audacity to be picky, had the right to want the perfect man, had the option to find a handsome man, and had the audacity to have high standards, didn’t mind being with a man with a small dyick.

This just adds evidence to my theory that it really doesn’t fucking matter and that it depends on a woman’s preference and anatomy.

Now… in terms of anatomy… anatomically… not all women can handle monster cacks… many others can only handle normal-sized dyicks, whereas others like me can handle 8 or over because our genetic makeup, how we are built, and how our vajeens developed throughout our life course are unique and tailored to each of our bodies.

For example… I can take a monster cack easily, no problem, put it in, I won’t even wince, but my best friend, who I’ve aforementioned to be a much bigger slut, can’t take a monster cack and find them painful, especially around the abdomen area, because she’s smaller in frame and build and has Chinese heritage. She’s 4’11, whereas I’m 5’4. Anatomically, regardless of how many men we’ve had sex with—mind you, my body count is up there, I can conduct research with my body count, her body count is also up there, she can also conduct research with her body count, but the number didn’t make a difference or did not alter the size of our vajeens, she still prefers normal-sized dyicks, whereas I still prefer monster cacks—the size of her small vajeen, will remain to be small, my gargantuan vajeen will remain to be gargantuan.

One vajeen may not agree with your dyick, but the other vajeen might agree with your dyick because vaginas vary by genetic make up, anatomy, ethnicity, and race. For instance, my husband is thankful he found me because his ex-lovers found his monster cack too painful, whereas I don’t—I have a wide-set vagina and can easily take an 8-inch monster cack. Zee? My monster vajeen and his monster cack are compatible in size. We may not be compatible from the waist up, because he’s an idiot and an asshole 72% of the time, we’re compatible from the waist down.

Another example was when I was studying in California, I had a petite Japanese-American bestfriend who hooked up with a Black-Mexican dude she had met on Craigslist. The guy ghosted her because he said her pussy was “too small.”

Zow… now… do you understand now when I say a woman’s dyick preference also depends on her anatomical build?

Zow… if you’re on the average or normal-size dyick lane, don’t be discouraged, bhie. Find your average or small vajeen queen. You’re fine! You’re okay! Your 4-inch dyick is totally fine. Not to me, but to a lucky small vajeen queen out there that’s made for you, that’s totally fine!

If you’re still insecure about it and there’s no way to convince you that your average-sized dyick is fine, work on your vaj-eating skills. Work on that shit. Research, practice, and educate yourself about the art of getting rich so you can bribe your way out of having a small dyick. Char. No. I’m kidding. It’s a joke.

Research, practice, and educate yourself on how to properly feast on a woman. If you can give her a hard, earth-shattering orgasm only with the use of your mouth, the type that makes her twitch, convulse, and quiver, she’ll make you feel like you still have a small dyick… char… no. She’ll make you feel like you have the biggest monster cack in the multiverse. Just show her that you prioritize her pleasure and orgasms more than you do yours and she’ll reciprocate because women are born as natural givers if we are being given. But nothing turns a woman off more than when the guy pursues his pleasure more than he pursues hers. Women come first, always. Figuratively and literally.

A follow-up question izzz… is there a difference in sensation between a small dyick and monster cack? I’m gonna give it to you straight and not sugar coat. Yes. There is a huge difference when it’s fat and thick, but there’s no significant difference when it’s long.

Okay… so… let me elucidate right here:

The average pikachu… when not aroused… on a normal day… sitting down… standing up…lying down… is between 2 inches to 3 inches long—four inches maximum—depending on her race, anatomy,  and how her reproductive system developed as she was growing up. I’m taking about the length of the vaginal canal, not the length outside, not external, I’m talking about inside where you put your fingers in.

Now… check your finger, your middle finger, which what you normally use in the art of fingerlickingfingerfucken, is roughly 3 inches long. Notice that when you put that finger in a pikachu, you will somehow feel the end of it, right? If you go further, it starts to get uncomfortable for the girl because that’s the entire length of a vajeen. Your middle finger is roughly the same size of the length of a vagina. Zow… stop stressing yourself.

Now… when it is aroused… when she gets comfortable… more relaxed and in the mood… when she’s at the stage where she’s ready to be dyicked down, particularly when she’s ovulating (this is when she just released an egg and her body is looking for spermizage to fertilize the egg. You’ll know she’s ovulating when he vaginal lubricant, her juices, becomes stretchy and bouncy if you put it in between two fingers) it can lengthen to 4 inches, sometimes 5, sometimes, 6, sometimes 7, and sometimes 8 inches—DEPENDING ON HER ANATOMY. 

BUT! If you have a 4-inch dyick (length), her vajeen won’t stretch to 5 inches, it will only stretch to 4 inches to accommodate your dyick because it’s a muscle, it only accommodates what it can at that point. Sometimes it won’t even stretch to 5 inches long if her body won’t allow it and her maximum is 4. That’s why not all women can take big dyicks. Not all physically can.

BUT! It can go as wide as 8 inches sometimes more depending on her anatomy. It can accommodate, when aroused, the size of a 2-liter Coke bottle. But that’s for pro hoes. On average it only stretches in width to what it’s used to, which is 3-5 inches—the average girth of dyicks. But it’s also not going to widen to 5 inches if your dyick is only 4 inches in girth because the vajeen is made up of tissues and muscles that are folded and pressed unto each other like a slinky or a pop tube toy. That’s why it can balloon and stretch to push out a baby with a 10-13-inch head. Vaginas are amazing, right? What can you dyick do?

Zow… I’m gonna point it out even more for comparison:

A dyick that is 6 inches in length and 3 inches in girth versus a dyick that is 7 inches in length also with 3 inches in girth = NO. FUCKING. DIFFERENCE. IN. SENSATION. SAME. SHIT. The 7 inches is no greater than the 6 inches in terms of the pleasure it can give.

A dyick that is 6 inches in length and 5 inches in girth versus a dyick that is 8 inches in length and 3 inches in girth = 6 inches in length and 5 inches in girth wins.

A dyick that is 4 inches in length and 5 inches in girth versus a dyick that is 6 inches in leght and 3 inches in girth = 4 inches in length and 5 inches in girth wins.

A dyick that is 8 inches in length and 5 inches in girth versus a dyick that is 8 inches in length and 4 inches in girth = 8 inches in length and 5 inches in girth wins.

Your 5-inch in dyick is no lesser than an 8-inch dyick if you both have 5 inches in girth.

Butt… here’s the thing to remember. Small-average-sized dyicks are great for stimulation when it’s the woman taking control, so bank on that, let her use you, monster cacks are great for penetration when it’s the man taking control.

Butt… thick fat dyicks are always better when compared with thinner dyicks. If you put the two side by side in a competition—in a competition ha? I must reiterate—a long pencil dyick will always lose over a fat, thick dyick. Bottom line = girth matters more than length. BUT! This doesn’t mean that you should feel bad if you have a pencil dyick, it just means that you need to make more money… char… it just means that not everyone is God’s favorite. Deal with it. Char. No. I don’t really know what to say to make you feel better if you have a pencil dyick… I’m sorry? We can’t have everything. Like… I wanted Double D breasts not B cups that disappear when I lie down. But I deal with it and compensate by giving great BJs.

Just… find someone like Eva… because evidently, even gorgeous women don’t give a fuck about dyick size, okay? Stop stressing about your dyick because it’s something you can’t change within 10 seconds. Direct your time and worries to being productive, creating jobs, putting up a business, getting healthy, getting fit, creating a company, pursuing a dream, getting filthy rich, or being intelligent—feed your brain. Invest in yourself. You’ll find the perfect girl for you one way or another—small vajeen queen or wide-set vageen queen. Just be a solid, loyal, good guy and you’ll be fine! You’ll get yourself an Eva soon enough. Keep looking up and don’t look down on yourself so you’re not always reminded that you have a small dyick. CHAREZ. I’m just making fun okay? This is something to make you feel better because it’s a scientific fact: As long as your dyick is not smaller than your middle finger, bro you’re fine. Best sukat siya oh. 

Now… in terms of psychologically… why some women, like myself, prefer monster cacks is that when I see a monster cack… immediately… in my head… I go… “That’s a fucking man.” I think about virility, power, and masculinity.

But not all women think like this. Just the fucked-up ones like me. But that’s also because I grew up around many gay men. There were always gay men at our house because my mom had many gay best friends, and I would always overhear them talking about monster cacks.

At one point my mother even said to her friends, “Tama na. We can’t talk like this in front of my daughter, bakla ka!” 

Her gay friend answered, “Okay lang yan! Para bata palang siya alam na nya the bigger the better!”

So naturally… it was imprinted in me at a very young age that big dyicks are better.

Society, primarily the media, also was a major factor of why women, such as myself, prefer big dyicks. Whenever we hear somebody talking about how she just found a man or met a man, instantly, one of the first questions during the girl talk would be, “Malaki ba?” “Daks?” And all other question pertaining to the size of the man’s dyick. They just had to know. And their respect for the girl and that guy she had just met will depend on the size of his dyick. The bigger the dyick, the luckier she is and the more impressive the guy is. Zow… naturally… in our head… the bigger really is the better.  

Additionally, on social media outlets, we always see women making fun of men with small dyicks, which pressures us to think “Oh… I’m at a loss if I get a man with a small dyick. I shouldn’t be with a man with a small dyick. That would be embarrassing to my femininity.” Which is entirely a lie made up by the media, and in the end minimizes our chances of finding true, genuine love, which is what we’re all here for right? A man’s dyick size should not be a measure of his masculinity. His bank account iz. Char.

But overall… you can absolutely blame this on porn 100%. It is the primary culprit for this, because you will never see a 4-inch dyick in porn, unless it’s under the category of “Kinks” or “Midget Porn,” which makes you believe that these men with 8-10 inch cacks are sex gods and demigods because they get the chance to have sex with theses porn goddesses and that this is what women prefer. But in reality, they just prefer to hire these men with monster cacks because they just honestly look better, they are more visible, especially when you want to highlight penetration, of course the bigger the better because the purpose is for viewing pleasure. Would you be able to see proper penetration with a 4-5-inch dyick when filmed through a camera? No, right? The bigger the cack the better the viewing experience because they’re just much more visible. It’s not an attacc on small-averaged-sized dyicks.

Would you be sexually aroused to watch a POV of Cherie Noel or Nicole Aniston sucking on a four-inch dyick you can barely see because the entire thing is already in her mouth? No, right? It’s ‘coz you can’t see shit. In reality, I promise you, it’s all just for appearance and viewing purposes. In the real physical world, your girl crush at work or school won’t give a fuck about the size of your dyick. I fucking promise you. She won’t mind.

Women like me—who prefer monster cacks—we’re just… we’re the ultimate hos and freaks, you know? 1-2 out of 10. We’re not special or unique, we just have bigger voids that must be filled by bigger dyicks. Char. No. We just prefer it. It’s our preference. It’s not personal. It doesn’t mean normal-sized dyicks have less value than monster cacks, monster cacks have just been glorified too much over time, but in all honestly… it’s all the same… men are all idiots. Char. No. I’m kidding. It’s a joke. The men in my past who had small dyicks didn’t get a bad rap from me because they were relatively good men. They weren’t assholes and treated me well. In all honestly, sluttiverse aside, if you’re a good man, a good guy down to your core, not 100% good, but you know in your core that you’re a good person and you know how to treat women right, you’re bound to find your dream girl somehow… in the next life… char.

In addition to visual pleasure, physically, monster cacks are just easier to maneuver because there’s much more surface area. There’s more room for movement, unlike when it’s a 4-inch or a 5-inch dyick, the movements are limited and the effort required to jerk it off is significantly more than the effort required when jerking off an 8-inch dyick because you get more leverage with a longer dyick. Now… imagine that you are using two pairs of mortar and pestle. Just imagine that you have two pairs in front of you to be used to grind some spices. One pestle is 5 inches, and the other pestle is 8 inches. Now… hold the 5-inch pestle and try to smash and grind some spices and pepperage into a powder with the 5-inch pestle. Immediately, you forearm will start to sore because you have a shorter reach and less leverage. The entire pestle has been engulfed by your hand. Try the movement with a longer pestle where you have a longer handle and better leverage—it’s not gonna be as tiring, right?

Just… longer dyicks are easier to give blowjobs and handjobs to in general. I’ve given handjobs and blowjobs too many fucking times to know the significant difference. With smaller-average-sized dyicks, the difference is that it puts greater tension on our necks because we’d have to dip our face lower, as opposed to a bigger, longer dyick, which is almost parallel to our face—there’s less tension on our necks. However! The problem with bigger cack blowjob is the risk of getting TMJ because you open your mouth and jaws wider. It's not a joke. TMJ pain is a motherfucker. Zow… monster cacks has its pros and cons, but the pros almost outweighs the cons.  

Another difference is the weight… bigger cacks obviously are heavier and meatier. There’s just this automatic, subconscious thought of “Oh… this is heavy… so I’m getting more. I’m getting a lot.” It’s like a reward in a way, but that’s just subconsciously.

The problem iz… look… the problem iz… I was physically exposed to monster cacks very early. Before being physically exposed to a monster cack, I didn’t fucking mind. I honestly thought that normal men outside of porn only had 1 size dyick—small and average. I never looked for a bigger cack in whoever I was with because obviously they’re regular men. The men with monster cacks my mom’s gay bestfriends were talking about sounded like they were very rare and didn’t come by the hundreds. So what are the chances that I would encounter a monster cack?

This is why. If a woman doesn’t have experience with a big dyick, 100% she won’t fucking mind about the size of your dyick because she doesn’t fucking know. Nonetheless… if she’s the one for you, even if she has experience with a big dyick, she still won’t mind about your small-average-sized dyick.

I also prefer monster cacks because to me that represents masculinity. You won’t be able to make me sit the fuck down and shut me up when you’re angry if I know in the back of my head that you have a small dyick. I will never fear you, nor follow you. But that’s just me and a handful of other hoes. That doesn’t mean other women also think that way.  Okay? What I think reflects a man’s masculinity and power will be different from what other women consider to reflect a man’s masculinity and power. Some women think intelligence reflects a man’s masculinity and power, other women think a man’s money reflects masculinity and power. It’s always subjective—but like I said… I’m going to reiterate… 8-9 times out of 10, she won’t fucking mind.

Lastly… biologically… because a longer dyick means it can reach the cervix entrance easier, making it quicker for sperm to swim up and enter the cervix and then up the fallopian tubes because they’ll be closer to the cervix, and the thicker dyick means no chance for sperm to spill out because there’s no room for it to spill out because the vajeen is completely filled, ensuring and securing the delivery of sperm. The bigger the head means the bigger the crown (the flared tip), which makes it easier for the dyick to get rid of sperm from other males, ensuring it’s their sperm that will get to the cervix, not that of others. You haven’t thought about it that way, have you? I found out about it thru a documentary about horses, which also obviously applies to humans because we’re all in the animal kingdom.

Zow… bottom line? Subconsciously and instinctively, we’re wired to think monster cacks are better because we’re scientifically made to prioritize procreation—to secure the spermizage.

But all the above are just bonuses. In the end, a 4-inch dyick with a viable sperm is as good as an 8-inch dyick with a viable sperm. But… if you’re still not convinced, and I can’t convince you that you’re fine, if you have a small dyick and you want to feel secure about yourself, give her shut the fuck up money, that’s it. Give her “shut the fuck and suck this small dyick money.” That’s it. Char. No. If you have an average dyick and you’re worried… as you should be… char… no. If you have an average dyick and you’re worried, I’m telling you right fucking now, 9 times out of 10, she won’t give a fuck—a good woman won’t give a fuck. I promise you. Just pray you don’t fall in love with the 1 time out of 10 that will give a fuck that you have a small dyick. Zow… be brave and go find your small vajeen queen.

Buttt! Overall… when having zekz… it doesn’t matter the size of your dyick. What matters is if you’re able to make her come. If a woman has a one-night-stand with a 5-inch dyick  on Monday who’s able to give her a fist-balling, nail-digging orgasm, and has another one-night stand with an 8-inch-dyick on Tuesday—I know…is this hypothetical or is this a memory? Chariz—who fails to give her an orgasm or gives her a mid orgasm, she’ll still think about the Monday guy who paid extra attention to her skittle, more than the Tuesday guy who didn’t.

Example… I was in a situationship with this marine for a few months … arrogant, sick sumbitch. Solid guy, but the most arrogant man I’ve encountered in my fucking life. He was always throwing the “I’m a fucking US marine” card every chance he could. He was never rude to me, in fact he was kinda sweet, but he was always arrogant to other people, which was fine, I’m used to proud arrogant men because they always seemed to think I was always impressed by arrogance, and I was, char, no.

His arrogance obviously rooted from him being a US marine, having a monster cack, and being able to get girls effortlessly. He’s like a younger Johnny Sins… also with Johnny Sins’ dyick. Zow… go figure.

Howevah… among the men I’ve been with… flings, hook ups, one-night-stands, relationships, he was the only one who didn’t bury his face in my crotch, which I thought was interesting. Because who wouldn’t wanna eat this WAP? Charuzz. Zow… when we were in a drive-in motel somewhere in Parañaque and in the middle of having motel dinner, I asked him. “Just curious… how come you never ate my pussy?”

He almost choked as he shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s just… it’s not my thing.”

“It’s not your thing or because we’re not on that level yet? Because some guys only eat pussy when they’re in love. And that’s fine… no hate or whatever, I know we’re not on that level, but, I’m just curious.”

“Are you not satisfied with my dick?”

“I am… but… I just wanted to know the reason… I mean if it’s really not your thing, I get that. I’m not gonna force you. But… I just wanna know why.”

“You wanna know why?”

I nodded. “I wanna know why.”

He said, “I never eat pussy.”

“What do you mean? You’ve never tried? You’ve never wanted to? What do you mean?”

“I never had to. That’s small-dick shit. That’s for dudes who need to compensate.”

Ekzzkyuzzmee? Ekzzkyuzzmee? Ekzzkyuzzmee? I walked out of the room and left after that conversation.

CHARIZ! I didn’t… I wish I had. I wish I was a baddie then that would just leave. But I didn’t… I had low standards… okay?

“Don’t lie to me. It’s okay. I just wanna know why.”

He shrugged once more. “I never eat pussy. Never had to and I was never asked to.”

I’m guessing someone in his roster of girls put him on a pedestal and showered him and his dyick with praises that he thought his big dyick was the shit. And it was. Not gonna lie. Butt… do you see what I mean?

Zow… I asked him, “So… you’ll never eat my pussy?”

“Do you want me to eat your pussy now because I will if you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to eat my pussy because I asked you to, I want you to want to eat my pussy without me having to ask.” I snapped.

And he did eat my skittle that night… but he was absolute shit with it. Absolute shit—didn’t fucking know how. He was like a blind dog trying to eat off a dog bowl that I had to ask him to stop. Our situationship lasted for a few more months and I settled with no cunnilingus because I liked the idea that I was hooking up with a US marine. Shut the fuck up and don’t fucking judge me! I was 21 and easily impressed. What do you want me to do?

I finally ghosted him when his arrogance became too much for me. He was driving me home and had made a U-turn in the wrong U-turn slot near SM Megamall, and there were visible signs that the next U-turn slot was the next one ahead, but he didn’t give a fuck and went ahead and took that wrong U-turn. Unbeknownst to him, a bunch of MMDA traffic enforcers were right there hiding and waiting for the one who’ll make a mistake.

He then got out of the car and began yelling when they wanted to confiscate his license because he didn’t wanna take the ticket. “WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I’M US FUCKING MARINE! I’M UNITES STATES GOVERNMENT PROPERTY!”

I was like “Brooooooooo…...” I wanted to sink into the hot asphalt road and disappear. Who says that? Do people actually say that? Do people in the military actually say that? I wanted to say, “Bro… chill… you don’t even know how to eat cat.” He went on a loud tirade of why they can’t do anything to him or take anything from him. HE kept repeating that’s he’s a US Marine like it was a shield that was gonna protect him from being a fucking moron. The traffic was at a standstill, so everybody was obviously watching—it was fucking embarrassing. They eventually confiscated his license, and he had to pay P2,000. Deserve.

I also eventually found out that he had three kids back in the states—each from different mothers. He was kicked out of the army for insubordination or fraternization—something that ended with “ation.” Could be moronization. I found out thru his cousin when “She said, “Wag mo sabihin kay kuya na ako nagsabe, pero tatlo na anak niyan. Ingat ka baka anakan ka lang din.” When I’d ask the reason why he’s here because he’s not really supposed to be here longer than 6 months and I was thinking things were starting to get sketchy. Apparently the law was after him for assaulting an officer in the military. He was basically a fugitive. I Was. Not. About. To. Get. Caught. Up. In. That. Shiet. Never answered his texts. Never called him back. Never saw him again. A month later, I met my husband. See? Sometimes… when life throws you a temporary tragedy, it will send you another fucking one. Char.

Zow… what am I saying? I know many of you think men with monster cacks are the shit and that they’re the MAN, but they’re not all that. Many of them are literal, misinformed, entitled, disloyal dyicks. It’s not a theory. It’s a fact. It’s because they think that women are just so lucky to be able to experience their monstrous cack, which is completely far from the truth. Char. I’m lying on some level. It just seems so special because it’s a rare sight, especially in our country, but each and every one of the men with big cacks that I’ve hooked up with or ever been with were almost always problematic and psychotic. They either had lovechilds from previous flings or had an ugly history with their past relationships because of their, disloyal, cheating, narcissistic behaviors.

Now that I’m trying to recall… I’m not lying. It’s the fucking truth, I’m laughing as I’m typing this, because really, each and every one of them had a kid, even kids, out of wedlock because the women could not deal with their misplaced ego. Simply put, men with big cacks are fuckboys. I don’t blame them. If I were dude, and I had a big dyick, I’d probably be a fuckboy too because I’d want many women to experience my ginormous love stick to feed my ego.

Your question would be “But you’re with a man with a monster cack, and now you’re advocating that we must choose to be with small-average-sized dyicks?”

Bitch… when I met my husband, he was a walking red flag. If he was a country flag, he’d be Turkey. Out of the 100 characteristics of someone who is a walking red flag, he had 99 of them. I lasted this long because I couldn’t let go of the thought that I would lose his special dyick that was meant for my vajeen. He wasn’t meant for me, but his cack was meant for my vajeen, you get me? Zow… If you’re a woman and if you happen to be at at a cornerstone, trying to decide between two men, whether you wanna be with the man with a big cack or with the small/average-sized dyick, have a fling with the big cack first, then be with the small-average-sized dyick. So you won’t have to regret and wonder. Char. No. I’m kidding. But… nearly always, what you’re feeling with the big cack is that you’re just excited of the fact that he’s packing, it’s just infatuation and excitement, mmmkay? Shake it off. It’s exciting because you know in the back of your head, he’s gonna ruin your cervix and your life, but trust me when I say, you’ll be much happier and fulfilled with someone who doesn’t have a monster cack.

Don’t be like me… okay? Just because I glorify big cacks doesn’t mean they’re special. I’m a different breed, bitch, okay? I came out of my mother’s womb destined to live in the border of life and death. I would rather live in complete misery, than to be with somebody with a small dyick. I’d rather sacrifice my sanity, than to marry a man with a small dyick. I love to suffer. I live to be mindfucked. I live for struggle. I love it when everyday I go, “Does he love? Does he love me not? Should I kill him? Should I save him?” Love that shit. It keeps me guessing. I love it when a man treats me like the bitch I am and doesn’t show how much he loves me outside of the bedroom, but would treat me like a respected sex goddess when it’s just the two of us and would drink my period blood when I tell him to. I know. Fucking gross, but my husband did do that shit on his own accord. Don’t be grossed out, bitch, okay? That’s sweet to me. Don’t fucking judge me, judger. That’s how I know a man fucking loves me. We all have our own love languages. “Do you even love me if you don’t drink my period blood?” Char. “Do I even love you if I don’t eat your ass?” That’s also how I know if I truly truly love someone.

I just… I choose to stay with a big dyick because I love to live in hell… I thrive in tragedy and mindfuckery. Char. I can’t help it, okay? It’s my preference and my lot in life to love tortuous men with monster cacks. They’re great for flings and short affairs, but not for a sustainable marriage. Mmmkay? If you a have big dyick, don’t fucking argue with me, because you know in your head that I’m 200% correct.

Zow… what did we learn today from this hoe?

1.        9 out of 10 women, including all genders who are into dyicks, won’t give a fuck about dyick size. The 1 out of 10 women, which is someone like me, I’m 1 out of 10, we’re just really loud and vocal that it makes it seem like our preference for big dyicks should be the only preference of every woman, which is clearly not and should not be the case because each and every woman has her own preference.

2.        She’ll remember that guy who paid extra attention to her skittle more than the guy who had a big dyick but ignored her skittle. We’ll call it skittle because when you taste it the girl tastes the rainbow.  

3.        As long as your dyick isn’t smaller than your middle finger and isn’t thinner than two fingers together, you’re good. Best sukat siya oh. If it's less than that or smaller than that, I don't fucking know... maybe consider transitioning? Char. I'm so rude.

We only have one life, bitch. We’re running out of time as we speak. Zow… tick tock suck his cock. Use his dyick, spend his money, sit on his face, but love him like his testicles taste like popsicles.

Love,

Nikkifikfik